Moving Mountains

There is something to say about the condition of the human heart. We know of its complex features both scientifically understood and emotionally functioning. We know when it experiences happiness the way it feels as if it is about to burst forth right through our chest; and when it is sad and trodden as if it is literally broken into two pieces and just weighing down our chest. However, there are other feelings that are a bit more challenging to identify because they feel so appealing to our ego. These feelings tend to get murky in the “happy” feelings and so we let them live, not knowing of their cancerous effects to us spiritually, relationally, personally, socially and professional; and if we do, allowing them to remain because of the brief satisfaction they fulfill. For those who are lords over their own lives, this is not big issue of concern, but for those of us who has declared Jesus as Lord over our lives, conviction by the Holy Spirit is generally not far behind. See, these acts and feelings in and of themselves are not “the enemy” nor are they the problem, but their impact on our spiritual maturation and ability to disciple makes them toxic to the kingdom of God which is our primary mission, and these convictions vary from person to person and in different points of time. So easily we can point out in others their sin, their struggle and tell them what is wrong with them and even give them advice on how to correct it, but what about the log in our own eye? So easily we look outward and identify the mountains and Goliaths that stand in our way, but what if this mountain is your own heart?

These last couple of months, my heart has been turned away from God, very self-involved, and there weren’t any amount of bible reading, church serving, bible-study attending, and worship singing that could deliver me (believe me I tried). I realized I had no authority over my heart, and why would I, it belongs to God through Jesus. I could not force it to repent much less to change. Part of the heart’s deceitfulness is its complexity and ever-changing nature (Jeremiah 17:9) and I just could not keep up, but I know someone who can. God simply told me,

‍ ‍“No acts can save you. Nothing you can do on your own strength, and intention will save you because your heart remains turned away from Me. The issue is the position of your heart, and your heart is My domain, My responsibility.”

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. (James 4:8)

Mysteriously enough, God instructed me to cease trying to stop the act and to just set my gaze upon Him. He told me to stop looking at the sin (the act) and to turn my attention towards Him. Every time I looked at the act, it appeared to increase in size, magnitude and impact, leaving me feeling helpless and susceptible to its grip.

In all your way acknowledge Him…(Proverbs 3:6)

So I started to steal peeps for God throughout my day. Even in the sin, I would seek for Him and where His goodness could be, not to continue the act with self-justification but in attempt of reconditioning my brain to always looks for Him. Slowly but surely, I was able to feel a shift in my heart, the work He had been doing all along but I turned a blind eye to. Has this mountain completely moved? No, but it has moved just enough where I can see light from the sun starting to peep through.

“And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.” – Matthew 17:20

A mustard is so small, but the faith of this size can apparently move mountains. Likewise, my small peeps of looking for God have led to some movement of the mountain within my own heart. I want to encourage you friends, if there is a mountain in your heart (pride, lust, procrastination, selfishness, bitterness, resentment), submit your will to Jesus by looking for Him. Steal peeps of His glory and goodness and put on an attitude of gratitude. Take the focus off yourself and the sin (the act, the thoughts, the feelings) that feeds the cancer poisoning your spiritual growth and watch what He does with the mountain in your heart.